Why Not To Be Friends With Your Ex – Did you know there’s an easy way to tell if your ex wants you back or just wants to be friends? All you have to do is wait for your ex to take the initiative, talk to you for a minute or two, and see if your ex asks you out or asks you to get back together.
Most dumpies are heartbroken and think they should talk to their ex before they finally express their desire to get back together, but if I can be completely honest, talking to an ex is a waste of time and emotion. This is completely unnecessary because an ex who wants you back will tell you very quickly.
Why Not To Be Friends With Your Ex
He or she will make plans to meet you or directly tell you why he or she is texting or calling you and how he or she feels about you. It’s quite simple.
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So don’t let your ex confuse you and string you along. If your ex wants you back, your ex will seem anxious and worried and will acknowledge the feelings with the intention of reducing the anxiety.
But if your ex wants to be friends, your ex won’t mention anything. He would only talk about random things and never mention breaking up and getting back together.
Your job as a dumpee is to give your ex a little time to say what he/she wants from you. A few minutes is probably enough because a guy who doesn’t tell you or try to tell you why he’s contacting you has no intention of reconciling with you.
Another thing you should pay attention to and not get confused about is attitude. If your ex seems cheerful, talkative, and strangely normal, your ex has no shame for what he or she has done. Your ex doesn’t regret breaking up with you or isn’t afraid of you which means your ex isn’t talking to you about getting back together.
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Your ex has motives that have nothing to do with reconciliation because if your ex wants you back, your ex will be scared. So watch your ex’s behavior and attitude. If your ex is confident, loud, excited and seems relieved to talk to you after a long time, it is unlikely that your ex is interested in being romantic with you.
It is very likely that your ex is just missing the friendship aspect of the relationship and your ex just wants to be friends.
In this post, we’ll highlight some of the differences between an ex who wants you back and an ex who wants to be friends. You will see that it is not very difficult to tell if your ex wants to be in a relationship with you.
If you want to know if your ex is just a friend or wants you back, you need to look at your ex’s behavior from a rational point of view. It won’t be easy, but you have to let go of your emotions, expectations, fears, and hopes, and realize how much you mean to your ex.
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If you mean a lot to your ex, relax that your ex won’t be around, tell jokes, talk about how great her life is, and seem completely unaffected by the breakup. The man or woman who wants you back will not seem happy and relaxed (the way he or she behaves in the relationship). He will appear sad, disturbed, fearful, depressed, alert, and very unhappy.
Many dumpees think it’s the other way around – that their ex will ask them back with a smile, but it’s not like that. I have seen many dumpers come back and I can tell you that most of them are very calm and cautious.
They worry that they blew their chances with their ex, so they act like people who fear bad news. They look visually distracted and laser-focused on no one but their ex.
This is why all you need to do is look for signs of resentment, fear and apprehension in your ex. You should be able to notice them early because if your ex wants you back romantically, your ex will be in a hurry to reconcile with you. He needs help dealing with anxiety and various unwanted emotions – and won’t be in the mood to talk about random, unimportant topics.
Boundaries For Being Friends With An Ex
Here’s a comparison between an ex who wants you back and an ex who wants to be your friend.
Another important difference is that an ex who just wants to be friends may also want a friends with benefits type of relationship while an ex who wants you back will try to influence you and do what you want. You need to look for a change in strength as this is one of the best signs that your ex loves you and wants you back.
So if you’re thinking to yourself, “Does my ex want me back or just want to be friends,” keep in mind that if you ask this question, your ex probably wants to be friends. Your ex is used to talking to you and wants to keep talking to you without a romantic commitment.
In other words, your ex wants his cake and eats it too. Better not spoil your ex or risk losing yourself in the process.
Should You Stay Friends With Your Ex?
Of course, there is a small chance that friendship can turn into a relationship, but, unfortunately, this usually does not happen. More often than not, this depresses the broken-hearted dumpee and postpones the time it takes for him to feel better and fully heal.
This is because dumpers usually don’t decide to be with their ex through friendship – by talking to their ex and hanging out with him. They come back when they are away from their ex because the distance helps them see all the benefits they are missing.
So don’t expect that your ex will come back to you if you stay friends with your ex. You’ll have a much, much higher chance of getting your ex back (and feeling better) if you maintain your power by cutting off your ex and showing that you’re an all-or-nothing kind of person.
If you settle for less than you deserve (friendship), your ex will see that you’re okay with anything he or she offers and feel less urge to rush before you move on. So don’t be a pushover. Stand up against anything that hinders or threatens your happiness and well-being.
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Exes who return during friendships usually do so because they date other people. You don’t want to be around when your ex seems happy with someone else. You want to get a text or call when your ex rebounds or fails with a new person and you want them back.
That’s when you’ll be able to have a proper discussion with someone who’s got GIGS and underestimates you.
That’s when you can discuss everything that went wrong and everything that needs to change before going back to the relationship that ended against your will.
When your ex wants to be friends with you after the breakup, the best thing to do is to say that you are not ready for friendship yet and that you need some time to yourself to think things over.
Why Is My Ex Texting Me? Does He Want To Get Back? Or Something Else?
You shouldn’t say that you want more than friendship because that makes it clear that you’re aiming for a relationship, but say that you’re trying to focus on yourself and that you’ll let him know if you decide to be friends.
Once you say so, you must immediately make no contact. Sticking to your word is essential so that you let your ex see and feel that you are not pretending that everything is fine.
If you want your ex back, your emotional health is far from perfect. It hurts because your ex destroyed your dreams and hopes and made you desperate for love and attention. He or she rejected you, so you must learn to accept yourself.
This is something your ex can’t help you with. Your ex can’t teach you how self-love works because self-love is something you have to discover on your own.
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You must begin a journey of recovery and self-discovery without your ex so that you can develop your strength and find purpose in the things and people you love.
I strongly encourage investing in yourself after a breakup. A breakup is a great opportunity for you to make some healthy changes and adjustments so that you can be happy with yourself and with your ex or someone else.
If you agree to friendship and hope that your ex understands your value, know that you will not learn much about yourself and the mistakes you made. On the contrary, you will waste your precious time because you will focus on your ex rather than yourself.
So don’t accept your ex’s friendship and start behaving like your ex friend. You can become friends later if you want
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