Can You Just Be Friends With Your Ex – Don’t give up completely if you and your ex aren’t ready to give the relationship another shot. Maybe it’s possible to stay friends. Especially if your ex misses your friendship and support.
You can’t be friends with your ex overnight. The reason is your brain treats a romantic relationship as a survival need. As such, your brain freaks out after an unwanted breakup and takes time to adjust. And you’re not ready for friendship until it does.
Can You Just Be Friends With Your Ex
Also, exes can’t be friends until both accept the loss. You can’t be friends if one of you is still attached.
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First, figure out what you hope to gain from being friends with your ex. Are you looking for someone who can support you and help you through difficult times? Or do you just want to keep your ex on friendly terms? Take time to think about what you hope to gain by keeping in touch with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.
Once you know your reason, you can test the water to see if your ex wants to be friends too.
If you’ve been out of touch with your ex since your breakup, you’ll need to re-establish contact before you can mend fences.
If you have mutual friends, make an introduction. If not, send a text asking how they’re doing and say you’d like to chat sometime. Your ex will most likely know what the subtext is. For some people, it’s not even a subtext – they’ll ever expect such communication from an ex-lover.
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If you feel they are interested in reconnecting, set up a time to meet in person. This is still just a casual meeting between two friends – no pressure, just catching up for coffee or lunch. If the answer is lukewarm at best, take a break and give your ex more time. However, if there is an interest in being friendly again, build on this small victory.
For most people, sending a text message will work best. Don’t overthink this. Just test the waters by texting your former partner, asking how things are going and what they’ve been up to lately. Do they seem open and receptive? Excellent. Now you can settle down to more mundane conversational topics like movies, books, and music, instead of trying to digest the details of a painful breakup.
If this goes well, I suggest asking your ex to hang out with you when you’re both free for a while. You could meet at a cafe or bar – think of places that won’t bring up bad memories for either of you.
Once you’ve established a connection, you’ll need to watch out for jealousy and manage your expectations.
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Jealousy can be a major problem for some. It’s normal to feel some anxiety when your ex starts dating after you break up. However, if this anxiety gets out of control, it can destroy any hope of a heartfelt relationship.
The best way to minimize the effects of jealousy is to make sure you don’t overreact. Because over time, you will refine your perspective of the situation and become less jealous. If you know you are prone to jealousy, be sure to sit tight and not air your feelings about your ex’s new relationships right from the start.
The other thing to do is manage your expectations about this friendship. Suppose you still love your ex, for example. In that case, no matter what situation arises, it will be difficult for you to deal with it objectively. Know yourself.
It can be hard to be friends with an ex. Especially if you weren’t really friends before. And even more so if you broke up on bad terms. Becoming friends with your ex will likely challenge you. However, even though friendship won’t work for everyone, it can be your favorite friendship for those who do.
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One obvious advantage is that your ex probably knows you better than any of your other friends. Therefore, you can open up with your ex about almost anything, including personal things that you wouldn’t even share with your best friend.
If you and your ex can be friends without weird interruptions, you can have the best friendship.
The biggest trick to staying friends with an ex is not being weird about who they’re dating. After all, it’s hard to see your ex enjoying the company of other men and women. And while your ex will naturally want to talk about their new boyfriend or girlfriend with their friends, that might not include you. At least not to begin with.
And yet, in time, these things will all but disappear until one day, you’ll both laugh at how big a deal was made of such things.
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You probably have a lot in common with the person you’ve been dating. You share similar interests, behaviors, and even physical characteristics. It’s natural to wonder if being friends is healthy for you.
The answer will be YES, as long as you both are sincere and want the best for the other. And of course, it helps not to hold grudges about the past…
It’s normal to still be in love with your ex after the breakup. After all, when the relationship ends, the feelings last for a while. You don’t suddenly stop having feelings. However, being friends with an ex, you still love
If you still love your ex and fantasize about getting them back, you need to be honest with yourself and decide if that’s your plan (rather than just being friends.) If so, you should ask yourself if breaking up was the right decision and go for it. from there.
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However, if you have accepted the breakup and accept that it will take some time for the feelings to settle down, then friendship can work.
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About the author: Michael Fulmer is a breakup repair counselor and relationship coach. He publishes the Ex-Communication newsletter to inboxes all over the world. He also runs the Breakup Dojo where he teaches you the right moves to outsmart your ex’s negative feelings. Michael has been undoing splits since 2011. No fancy outfits, videos or fake smiling photos. You won’t find Michael featured on Youtube either. What kind of relationship, if any, should you have with a former partner after that relationship ends? While many people are content to cut the cord completely and never look back, a large contingent of us prefer to navigate the uncharted waters of changing that relationship to a different kind of connection. Of course, the latter option is viable only if the relationship was not abusive. If you choose to stay connected, you will have to consider many new questions, especially when entering a new relationship. The benefits of being friends with an ex The best mirror: Contrary to popular belief, being friends with an ex doesn’t have to be detrimental to your new relationship. This type of friendship can actually be a real asset because a previous partner can provide a lot of insight into your strengths and weaknesses as a partner. Of course, this requires that both you and they have let go of some remnants of strong emotions from the relationship and are able to talk and think frankly and with humor. If this is the case, then imagine how valuable it could be to hear from an ex exactly how specific relationship behaviors of yours made them feel (Howard, n.d.). These types of discussions allow you to see your blind spots, empowering you to improve communication and work on difficulties in your new or future relationship.
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This pro comes with a caveat: If you’re in a new relationship, it’s extremely important that you know where to draw the line. Your new partner might not exactly be happy to hear that you’ve talked to an ex about the intimate details of problems in your current relationship, for example. True friend: If you’ve been dating, there’s a pretty high probability that you have some things in common besides being attracted to each other (Howard, n.d.). This is even more true if you were friends before you started dating. The end of a romantic relationship does not have to mean the end of friendship; if you’re both doing well as friends without the romantic or sexual undertones, you might think twice about ending that aspect of the relationship.
Closure: Closure is sometimes lacking when a relationship ends on bad terms. Some people find that if they are able to reconnect with an ex, reconcile your hurt feelings and resentment, and make friends, they are also able to gain a sense of closure. Additionally, having the experience of a previous romance becoming a friendship can help root out limiting beliefs that can emerge when relationships end badly, such as that romantic partners are not.
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