How To Stay Friends With An Ex – Sometimes exes want to be friends soon/right after a breakup. To be honest, this strange phenomenon doesn’t happen very often. This definitely happens more often after an amicable, less heated breakup.
You’ll hear something like, “I’m sorry for breaking your heart. Let’s be friends for now, and we’ll see where we stand later. Maybe we’ll get back together in the future.”
How To Stay Friends With An Ex
You and I know the dreaded friend zone doesn’t sound the least bit enticing. At first, you’ll probably think to yourself, “Maybe if I pretend to be my ex’s friend, I can prove growth and improvement. If not, at least I’ll keep my ex in my life. I’m so glad my ex wants to be my friend and I don’t hate you.”
This Is Why You Should Never Stay Friends With Your Ex
Because you have devoted so much time to this person, and you feel uncomfortable with him or her, you believe that the friendship you are offering is theft. A mix of anxiety and fear of loss makes you think this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—a bargain, you’re meant to take it. In fact, it is much, much less than that.
I would describe it as a friendship gift from your ex like getting the 50th pair of socks for Christmas. It’s unnecessary, stinks, a complete waste of space and time, and never works.
First of all, it will be almost impossible to be friends with your ex after the breakup. You will be very needy and want your ex like crazy. Your highly emotional state during a breakup forces you to act on impulse and do uncontrollable things. Things like sending invitations and messages in a demanding manner that will surely turn him or her off.
Your ex will eventually start dating another person, and you may experience incredible emotional turmoil. Stay friends with your ex
Can You Ever Be Friends With An Ex?
Absolutely no positive gain. You are always hungry for validation because of anxiety and false hope. Agreeing to be friends is worse than hell. It is a masochistic act for those who enjoy self-torture.
Really don’t want to settle for much less. For you, this is a huge decline in status, which makes you look terribly vulnerable.
Accepting this offer is a sign of terribly low self-esteem and confidence. If this person was your friend for years, and the relationship seemed better than heaven, going back to being friends is a big shock.
It doesn’t matter if he’s the only “friend” in your life, and how much you’ve bent over backwards for him in the past. They are all deleted as soon as you can say yes. What’s important is the here and now, and not the promises made while the relationship was growing.
How To Be Friends With Your Ex (20+ Ways)
Things like “we’ll be together forever and if we break up we’ll be friends for life” are irrelevant. Look at how you are behaving and ask yourself if you are staying friends with your ex
The most important reason why staying friends with your ex doesn’t work is because of your ex and his need for space. He won’t give you the attention he used to when you were in a relationship.
Something tells me the sound of that doesn’t make you very happy, like you want more now than ever, while your ex wants less or none at all. When it comes to neediness, it’s a complete lack of balance between you and your ex.
Most of the time (99.9%) of the time, dampers suggest friendship to soften the blow. It’s generous
Should You Stay Friends With Your Ex?
In fact it is simply an act of mercy and compassion. Exes do not have a romantic interest, nor a friendly relationship with you.
They just want out completely – especially if the timing around the breakup wasn’t so great. When someone does not want to be in a relationship with you because of incompatibility and disagreement, there is no way that this person will feel the need to be friends with you.
A breakup is not just a physical separation, but a complete separation from each other. Unfortunately, it’s a black or white situation. Your partner either wants to be with you or doesn’t want to see you.
Since your ex isn’t interested in being a partner, it’s highly likely that he or she doesn’t want to be your friend either. For many dampers the repulsion before and during break is incredibly high, hence why they act cold and distant.
Don’t Be Friends With Your Ex.
So in the rare case scenario where your ex says he wants to be friends with you, be aware that he doesn’t really want that. He doesn’t like to hurt you and feels bad for breaking your heart. Besides, deep down in your heart, you know you don’t want that. You are either all in or all out. There is no middle ground when it comes to exes.
If your ex was cold and cruel during the breakup, he probably acted that way for a reason. It is possible that he started seeing/talking to other people and got a big boost in ego. Anyway, months later, he is now sending you messages and friend requests.
The reason for this could be that his new friends are not as great as he thought or maybe there are other problems that he is dealing with.
Usually when an ex comes back, he comes back for something. In short, it’s the validation he’s been looking for because something, or rather no one, is working in his life. When he offers you that friendship down the road after the breakup, put your guard down. Rarely are people lazy and do things for no reason.
Most Likely To Stay Friends With An Ex
The same can be said for your ex when he suddenly wants to be friends with you again. For some reason, he’s trying to claw his way back into your life. It could be that he doesn’t feel angry for what he did after someone else hurt him. One might even call it karma striking, and now he’s on a mission to “fix” what he broke.
Just because your ex wants to be friends with you, doesn’t mean he wants more than friendship with you. Many times, exes want even less than that. The reason for this is that people hate being known as “bad people”, and instead want to be redeemed for their sins (especially when something goes wrong).
The best way for them to increase their karma is to talk to their ex – the person who hurt them in the past, and stole their forgiveness. For dumpers, it’s incredibly empowering, and one of the reasons exes come back into our lives.
I often mention that dumpsters hold a lot more power than they initially realize. This is especially true if they’ve been broken up through text in a ridiculously humiliating way, left for another person, ghosted, treated horribly and so on.
Signs You Can Still Be Friends With Your Ex
Any person who values his moral values will have to regret his bad deeds at some point in the future.
As long as everything is fine and dandy, exes won’t worry about their past
They are hurt and disrespected in the same way as when they disrespect their dumpy. You know, people don’t want to learn too much in a good way. This is usually the hard, painful way.
We’ve finally reached the hard part – the magic solution to turn things around with your ex, and give the relationship another try. So how do you get out of this friend zone when your ex wants to be friends with you?
I Asked My Ex Boyfriends To Give Me Yelp Reviews And This Is What I Learned About Myself
Guys, especially, fear falling into that dark hole once they start liking a girl. They fear dark places so badly, they start panicking and ruining their own chances by acting out.
Just like when you first start dating a person, there are many things that contribute to your overall attractiveness. These desirable personal traits certainly depend on each individual.
However there are universal characteristics that every person in this world finds attractive. Ideally, your partner or your ex-partner will look for things that will help them grow and get the most out of their lives. Very selfish, I know. He looks for things you have so you can increase their social status and overall health.
These are the most important features. Other slightly less important ones are emotional stability, honesty, sense of humor, intelligence, emotional sensitivity, vulnerability, kindness, authenticity, compassion, generosity, humility, bravery, money…
Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?
When you are the best you can be and become the best version of yourself, your chances are much higher.
As I said before, taking action when you are at your weakest is a big mistake. Accepting your ex’s friendship and changing needs will never work. In the previous chapter, I mentioned some positive things you should do to increase your attractiveness level.
Needless to say, having those symptoms and making out with your ex doesn’t work out well
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